Wednesday, June 07, 2006

From the Mind of Antonyraj.

While bored, I wandered through a bunch of old emails that, for some reason or other, I kept for all these years. I stumbled across this gem dating November 4th, 2000, from one Arun D. Antonyraj, or "Blackjack" as I remember him calling himself during senior year. Or the "black irish", whichever mood he was in. Anyway, in the spirit of authenticity, I kept the numerous spelling errors intact. Enjoy!

"ok folks, chris was NOT with us tonight, chris has well problems. While
we were out having fun chris was gaying it up at the movie theater,
inspecting his friends vaginal problems, now on with the show...

Alright folks, I am writing this email to you with absolutely no force
from anyone. ok the truth is chris said he would give me gay if i didnt send one so
hence here I am, to protect myself. What follows is a real, 100% true story
of the events that happened betweent eh hours of 7:00 PM and 11:00 PM Central
Standard Time.

It all started with my usual trips to the cd store, once at teh
Exclusive Company, i bought some cd's, and picked up some free crap for chris'
birthday present. (Chris i hope you like Limp Biscuit!). Anyways we then
proceeded to walgreens, and the corner of bluemound and pilgrim the following scene
occurred:

(in right left turn lane, anotehr car pulls over next to us, in the
other lane)
(andy rolls down his window to give the maual left hand turn signal,
since his car is from France or something, where they dont believe in signals,
safety, or heterosexuality.

At this point andy fails to realize that this lady's window is open and his is down and so yells out: "Damn Handicapped People!"

then i yell "GoD Bless Alcohol, and so when are we getting stoned
tonight!" again strange looks from teh lady.
then as the lady inches forward andy screams, "HEy the lights not red
you moron!"

eventually the left turn was made, and the middle finger was given, as
we passed up the gimp woman. once in walgreens, we discussed things with
Nick Koller, where nick threatened to "Spike my ass", needless to say me and
andy ran like hell from the evil King Koller. Moving right along, we managed
to put a mechanical dog on his counter in hopes of scaring him, sadly, the
dog was no match for Koller, who merely threw him into the garbage. As we
exited we attempted to steal one shopping cart from said walgreens.
UNfortuenatly the cart was too bid, so we had to settle for a basket.

Later that night we returned to find said shoping cart on the car
antaenna of one King Koller (note we have no idea who, what, why, when or how this
cart got ther,e but believe me INvestigator Arun is on the case!). While in
the Elmbrook Liquor parking lot, a police officer pulls us over accusing us
of "drinking" as if we were Lueck or something, he was gonna ask us to do
some test, but the awesome powers of my middle finger scared him away. As we
left the parking lot, we saw the cart still atached to Kolers Truck.
So ended another eventful day in teh Life of Investigating Arun and his
trusty side kick The MIddle Finger (oh yeah andy was the driver,
alfred if
you will). Doint worry Nick im on the case im gonna get the files out
right
now to start on this ca...zzz.....
well as usual sleep, and doing nothing has once again provided the
correct
answer, the person who did this was none other than...

Well Goodnite!

Arun "I cant be held responsible for that im an Indian Cirizen Damn it"
Antonyraj

3 Comments:

Blogger chris said...

wow that made me cry. we were all just as homophobic as my high school students are today, weren't we? that's awesome.

10:59 AM  
Blogger The Hero said...

That wasn't the same night Arun stole the antihistamine?

9:26 PM  
Blogger Arun said...

WHOA WHOA WHOA!!!

THIS E-MAIL IS A FARCE!!!!!

I DID NOT WRITE THIS!!!!

Hilarious as it is. This is a CLEAR CHANEYISM!

- Arun

11:21 PM  

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